This may be a little long, but necessary to explain my situation and get the best advice possible.
I have been a divorced single parent for 6 years. Barely getting by on my income and child support, but I had a nice duplex to live in, and somehow made it paycheck to paycheck just enough to make it..and get by.
Then I met my boyfriend.
He moved in with me while were were renting. He was having serious problems with his ex-and child support and alimony. He had no where to go. She had the house, so I let him stay with me and tried to help him.
I had already claimed bankruptcy, due to a co-signed loan for my sister that got reposessed, plus some old marital debt. I could see he had a terrible spending problem from day one, but he made almost 100 grand a year, so I never mentioned it and he contributed to the housedold, had two car payments, a motorcycle payment and a taste for expensive foods, dining and electronics.
He lost his job, and ended up with one making LESS THAN HALF of what he was making. His one car got repoed. His ex was getting more money than him from his paycheck. He got his house back from her when she moved. We decided to move in to his house in February, not realizing that it was in pre foreclosure. Any payments we made did not apply and now the house is in foreclosure.
I have three children to take care of and I have no where else to go. Despite the situation, we put our finances into a joint account. Big, big trouble. I have no idea what to do anymore? As someone who went from bieng a little poor, but still happy and paying what needs payed...I am depressed. I am currently in college as well and a manager at my job.
Here our our financials. I keep telling him we can not do this, and he insists it is my money management...either way, I would like some opinions.
My net monthly: 1700 salary
770 Child Support
150 Different little internet side jobs
1 Loan at $156 a month(10 months to pay)
Car insurance $78 a month
His net monthly: 1000 (on an average month)
Car Note $480
Insurance for all $170
Tool Payments $160
Family Program Classes $160
Monthly Doctor Visit $180
Monthly Prescription $50
Cigarettes(yeah..I know we need to quit) $200
His Lunch Money $160 (at least...I don't buy lunch)
His impulse video game and car part purchase: $100
My personal $50-$75 (hair products, toiletries, etc.)
Eating Out, doing small stuff with kids $100
House payment $675
Cable, Int, Phone(And he needs the HD crap) $140
Groceries $600 sometimes less or more (he eats only the best meats, products)
Cell Phone $200 (is high because he had to get a new g-1 phone that needs internet and they split the payment up over 4 bills for me)
So...that is it...and we are currently not even paying the mortgage, due to action housing telling us to stop, because it would not help anything. Now, the kicker is he is always on my case about the bills. He does not understand that his own personal spending exceeds his income and I am lest to pay for the entire household. He says I have poor money management skills. I say, he spends too much, and that I lived with my kids for years and never had a problem. I feel like my world is caving in. I will end up in the street...soon. Can we do it? If so how? I just took his mac card off of him, because he would eat here and there 10 times a day....
I spent my entire tax return on repairing this house before we moved in. I also let him get a 47 inch HD tv. I know it is my fault for allowing this, but now that it is so out of control...I feel overwhelmed. As a consequence of this I had taken out several payday loans to cover overdraft charges in the amount of over 800 dollars. This was due to his frivolous swiping of the ATM card and not cionsulting me for purchases. Now I have those to pay...and I don't even tell him, because he thinks I should be able to pay these bills when they need paid and I am a mess. He wants nothing to do with the finances.
I need this straightened out before i go crazy?
What is the first step?
Is there even a first step?
Oh, and he just got served with a civil suit for 3800 dollars from his aunt, who had lent him money to pay for his divorce lawyer. He wants to claim chapter 13, but how on earth can we come up with 2500?
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